14 Years ago today....

....I married the love of my life. I wrote our love story last year, so if you wanna - here it is. It's hard to believe that it's only been 14 years, I just can't imagine there was a time in my life when he wasnt a part of it in some way or another. I guess maybe I've just loved him my entire life, just didn't realize it until the day I met him.

Happy Anniversary, Honey! I hope to have 75 more of these....

In, out, in, out.....

This meme is all about using your imagination. Free your inner blogginess. Step outside the proverbial blox (that's blog + box for all you non-blog speakers). Answer these ridiculous situational questions and post them on your own blog. Here's the situation for today. We won't tell a soul. And remember:
Don't end up in the dungeon.


1. You are a guest on the space shuttle. You just arrived on the moon and realize you forgot something back home that you can't live without. What is it and how do you convince them to go back and fetch it?

I will start convulsing without my chocolate & peanut butter. They better turn around or my shaking and foaming at the mouth will cause an explosion.

2. Pretend you are a teacher in a rough public school for one day. You have been assigned to teach Manners 101. You have the "challenging bad butt kids" class (remember this is a pretend school and anyway I can't say ass on my blog 'cause it's so unQueenly and I might get fined or something). They are jumping up and down, cursing, and throwing things at you.
What is the first thing you would write on the board?

Shut the fuck up and sit down
3. Someone in your family or a friend has started a blog. They think it is anonymous but you have figured it out. They are saying derogatory things about you. Do you tell them or do you read it for awhile? How would you handle it?

I start leaving annoynumous comments about how wonderful I am and how full of shit they are.
4. If you had one dollar left in your pocket, what would you spend it on?
Reese's Peanut Butter Cups are on sale, 2 for $1 down at the convience store in town.... now you figure it out.

5. President Obama and the First Lady are coming over for dinner. What do you serve?

Do you expect something nice? I'd cook them hamburgers & brats on the grill, just like I would anyone else.
6. You walk in on your lover. They are trying on your clothes. What do you do?

Accept the fact that paybacks suck. I guess I wear his, he should be able to wear mine.

7. Every astronaut must have shots! Choose your vaccination: You only get one and you can't enjoy any of the attributes of the other choices. You choose either: (1) The fountain of eternal youth and sexual vigor but only for 10 years (2) perfect health for a lifetime (3) eternal mind-numbing nirvana and peace of mind (4) unlimited hedonism for one year with no negative consequences.

#2 If I have perfect health, then I have enough energy to have sex & work out, which eliminates the need for the 1st choice....

When Mom Ain't Happy T-shirt from Zazzle.com

When Mom Ain't Happy T-shirt from Zazzle.com

MCQ: Helter Skelter

1.what is one thing that will put a great big ole smile on your face?

Golden Retriever puppies. Especially mine.
2.Your walking down the street toward a very familiar face. As you get closer you realize you do not remember this persons name at all. Do you speak with the chance that they'll want to stop and chat or do you pretend that you don't see the person?
I pretend not to see them unless they say something.... then I fake it.
3. Are you the Rock or the sponge of your household?

I'm a sponge - I'm the one who cleans everything up.
4. You have gone over to a friends for dinner. You look down at your plate and notice a great big ole hair hanging out from inside your sandwich. What do you do. ?
I feel like I'm at home...
5. If you HAD to name one....who would you say is your role model?

My daddy
6. Have you raised children? if so do you think your parenting skills were top notch or could have used a little help from Dr Phil?
I suck at raising kids. Have you seen mine?
7. would your -(Past or present)- mate/spouse, significant other/whatever -say that living with you has been like a gentle breeze or more like a hurricane?
Wow. I had to read that like 10 times to understand it. He'd say I'm like a hurricane. I know it.
8. When you shop at the grocery store, do you always shop exactly by a list or just go helter skelter and hope that you get home with most of what you need?
I always forget something and buy 15 more things that I went in for in the first place.

What does heretic mean?

Cheers to all us thieves!

Sunday Stealing: The Heretic Meme

1. Who was the last person of the opposite sex you lay in a bed with?
That would be my husband. Unless someone snuck in the bed when I wasn't looking.

2. Where was the last place you went out to eat?
Took the demons to Subway yesterday.

3. What was the last alcoholic beverage you consumed?
Hawaiian Pineapple at the bar last weekend.

4. Which do you prefer - eyes or lips?
Depends on what the eyes or lips are doing. I don't want you to try to kiss me with your eye, that would be awkward.

5. Medicine, fine arts, or law?
Again... depends. If I'm sick, I want medicine. If I'm feeling creative, I want art. If someone breaks into my house, I want law. Don't know what medicine would do for me either if I got a speeding ticket.

6. Best kind of pizza?
One with lots of stuffs on it.

7. What is in store for your future?
Let me go call my psychic....

8. Who was the last band you saw live?
Kiss

9. Do you take care of your friends while they are sick?
No. I usually stay the hell away so I don't get sick. I call them and tell them to drink orange juice, though.

10. How many songs are on your iPod?
What iPod? Why does everyone assume we all own one of these things? I'm still carrying around my walkman.

11. Where is the last place you drove to?
to the lake to get chairs.

12. Where did your last kiss take place?
right here, right now. I just made the husband kiss me quick so I could have a more unique answer. He laughed at me.

13. What were you doing at 11:59 PM on Monday night?
I have an alibi.

14. Are you a quitter?
Only when I quit this meme.

15. Who was the last person you had in your house?
My friend, Debbie. But that is such an open ended question... I didn't "have" Debbie or anything, she just visited.

15. What do you think about people who party a lot?
I think they must be tired.

16. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?
No, does it make you uncomfortable?

17. What was the last CD you purchased?
Trace Adkins

18. What are two bands or singers that you will always love?
Johnny Cash & Kiss

19. Which of the seven deadly sins are you guilty of?
None of them.

20. How is your last ex doing?
How in the hell am I supposed to know? Ask him. And no, I don't know where he's at and I don't give a flucking fly where he is either. There's a reason he's an ex for Gods sake. Stupid question.

Saturday 9: Heatwave - Where is this heatwave you speak of?

Saturday 9: Heatwave

1. It’s July. How has the weather been where you are?
Its July? I guess if you look at the calendar it is... I could have sworn it was late September. I don't think we even hit 60 today.
2. What is the best way for you to beat the heat?
live in Minnesota. Can you tell I'm cranky about the cool weather?
3. “It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity.” Do you buy that?
Yes I do. Humidity sucks especially if you have naturally curly hair, which I don't, but I listen to the demons bitch about it all the time. Nellie Olsen anyone? They get to thank their father for that one. They just get to thank me for the 10 lbs of hair on their head.
4. Do you like hot tubs or saunas?
Oh great, here we go with another story of Berleen the nutcase. I get claustrophobic in them. Yeah, figure that one out. Pools & hot tubs make me feel like the water is crushing my chest. I need a fricken shrink.
5. What’s the hottest you’ve ever been?
I'd have to say that day I wore my skin tight jeans and a white tank top without a bra and I was having a really damn good hair day.

Oh... thats not really what you mean, was it?
6. How many times do you hit the beach in the summer?
I don't believe in sand abuse.
7. When you were a kid, what did you do in the summer?
I went outside. Imagine that - it's a whole different concept than what kids today do.
8. Surfing. Have you ever gotten on a surfboard? Body surf?
There's this thing I've heard that sharks seem to mistake surfboards for critters, so I think I'll pass. Thanks.
9. What’s your favorite summer song?
Summer of '69 of course!

Sing it with me....
I got my first real six-string
Bought it at the five-and-dime
Played 'til my fingers bled
It was summer of '69

Me and some guys from school
Had a Band and we tried real hard
Jimmy quit and Jody got married
I shualda known we'd never get far

Oh when I lock back now
That was seemes to last forever
And if I had the choice
Ya - I'd always wanna be there
Those were the best days of my life

Ain't no use in complainin'
When you got a job to do
Spent my evenin's down at the drive in
And that's when I met you

Standin on a mama's porch
You told me that you'd wait forever
Oh and when you held my hand
I knew that it was no or never
Those were the best days of my life

Man we were killin' time
We were young and restless
We needed to unwind
I guess nothin' can last forever, no

And now the times are changin'
Look at everything that's come and gone
Somethimes when I play that old six-string
I think about ya wonder what went wrong

Standin' on a mama's porch
You told me it would last forever
Oh the way you held my hand
I knew that it was now or never
Those were the best days of my life

It's all her fault. I'm innocent.

Welcome to the July 16th version of Thursday Thunks!

(which we always seem to post on Wednesday)
Where we make you think a little bit before you blog!

This week we will answer some crazy questions brought to you by

Kimber, the number 15 and the color of windows.

1. Do you know anyone with heterochromia? Does it freak you out or do you think it's interesting?
Ok so I had to go look it up. The cat picture should have given it away. Where the hell did you come up with this one, Kimber? Did you seriously know what it was before today?
I did have a cat once that looked almost like this one. His name was Milo. He would get neighborhood cats to chase him into our yard and then he would stand just inside the area that Max's tie-out could reach. Max didn't like cats that weren't his, so he'd go after them. Imagine the surprise when the cat would think it was about to catch Milo and a big dog would come after it!
2. Should a 5th face be added to Mount Rushmore? If so, who?
Mel Gibson. It would be the most beautiful monument in the history of monuments.
3. If you could live on any planet other than earth, which one would you choose and why?
Pluto. I don't give a rats ass if it's not a planet. I'm gonna live there just to say it is.
4. We're going to spend the night at a reportedly haunted location, are you going with us?
If so, which reportedly haunted place are we going?
I wonder if Johnny Cash's place is now haunted by him. Maybe thats the only way I could ever meet him.
5. Did you play The Queen's Meme this week? If so, was it fair of The Queen to put Berleen in the dungeon by association with Kimber? (We all know Kimber deserved it, but Berleen?!)
I did and it's unfair. Why the hell am I always associated with that troublemaker, Kimber? I mean, seriously! I did the Sunday Stealing meme without crabbing about Judd's choice. I didn't want him killed - she did!
6. What color is the towel(s) hanging in your bathroom?
I don't do one color scheme. Right now there is a Spongebob towel, a magenta one and a white one. The real question is - do you wash your towels after each shower? Try to explain to my demons that, if you did it right, you are clean when you get out of the shower so there is no need for me to do 2 loads of towels every week. I think I'm just going to start hanging the towels out on the line without fabric softner so they don't want to take a new towel everyday. Maybe once they get one un-crunchy they will stick with it. Yeah. I think I'll try that.
7. Tell us something funny that happened to you recently.
I threw a rat at Kimber and she named the stupid thing.
8. We just bought you a cow. Do you kill it & grill it, feed it & milk it, or sell it?
Kill & grill, baby. This ain't no catch & release family. Ok maybe with fish.
Speaking of cows. I bought 10lbs of hamburger this weekend - plackaged it up and froze it. I took one package out last night and started frying it up. It smelled like dirty stinky feet. It was gross. I took the cooked hamburger and the frozen stuff back to the store last night and got an exchange on fresher meat.
9. It's 115 degrees outside (46 degrees Celsius), are you able to go without Air Conditioning?
If I have to, sure. If they could do it 100 years ago, so can I. I'd go sit my butt in the lake if nothing else. I hate AC though - always have. I get headaches from it.
10. When you visit the zoo do you wonder which animal tastes better with a bit of butter & spices?
I always drool when I see the elk. Elk is damn good meat.
11. Dog ate your homework/work papers. Does it crap out Shakespeare, quantum physics, or just crap?
Knowing me as I do, it would probably be math. I wish I could have had a dog eat my math homework. God I hated that stuff.
12. We are taking you to a broadway show, what are we going to see?
Um.... can you just surprise me?
13. Gunshots in your neighborhood. Pop, pop, pop. Do you go out to take a look, or hide?
I'd be the dumbass that would go look. I'm stupid that way.

But hey... if you really miss us you can always join us over at the InsanityCafe Community & Forums. It's a small online community that offers some sanity to our strange world. And hey... you think Thursday Thunks is weird? You ain't seen nothing yet! (and we hand out free meds!) Im gonna keep this going until every last one of you join us over there. It's been awful slow over there recently and we really need some new blood to spice things up. We have about 15 members right now that are somewhat active - summertime sucks for forums. It's not a busy place, honest! Less than 10 posts a day usually. Just think of it as shortened blogging! LOL

Are you?

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well, you should be.

The Blog Outside The Box Meme

Ok we are doing another one... the "outside the box" caught me. I'm hooked.

The Blog Outside The Box Meme
This meme is all about using your imagination. Free your inner blogginess. Step outside the proverbial blox (that's blog + box for all you non-blog speakers). Answer these ridiculous situational questions and post them on your own blog. Here's the situation for today. We won't tell a soul. And remember:

Don't end up in the dungeon.

1. You are in court. You are in deep doo-doo. What did you do? ('Cause if you want, I might could talk to the judge and get your sentence reduced to Bloggingham dungeon time.)
I sold the kids to the gypsies... finally. I didn't know it was illegal, honest!

2. Your blog just became a best-selling book . What is the title of your book ?
Crap 101

3. It is midnight. The phone rings. It is Michael Jackson calling from the Great Beyond.
What would you like to ask him?
Are the damn kids yours biologically or not?

4. You are having your future told. The fortune teller looks in the crystal ball, screams and leaves the room in fright. What did they see?
My demons being returned to me by order of the judge and they never move out of the house.

5. You're blogging along minding your own blusiness (that's blog + oh...you know) when Google unexpectedly puts a Objectionable Content Warning on your blog. Your own mother is afraid to enter! What, pray tell, did you do to warrant it? How did this happen? Do you think you deserve it? Just how objectionable are you? Do tell.
I didn't do anything dammit! I never fricken swear in this damn blog. Ever.

6. You suddenly become God Of The Universe. What would your first Commandment be?

Thou shall not make chocolate fattening.

I'm God, dammit.

7. And finally, what secret would you like to tell the Queen?

Not to worry. What happens in Bloggingham, stays in Bloggingham.
I have a bag of peanut butter cups in the very back of the fridge... you can't see it unless you move something, which you know that demons never move things.

Monday Crazy Questions

1. Do you have a tattoo...?? if so What and where is it??
if not do you have a secret desire to have one?
I have 4 of them. I have one that is still healing - paw prints. I posted about it the other week :)
I have a cat & flowers on my lower left leg.
I have a tiger cub w/ the demons' names on my right shoulder.
And a heart that I did myself in high school on my left arm.
2. You have been offered a free botox treatment...where do you have them put it?
I don't even know what that is... LOL
3. Do you have a good luck charm? what is it?
Do you think it works?
Nope, don't have one... can I have yours?

4. When was the last time that you said something to someone that you REALLY wished you hadn't said?
"Lets get married.... today". Obviously not the current hubby.
5. The bath water is running, the phone is ringing, the dog is barking and there is someone at the door.....what do you do?
Go take a bath, what else would I do?

6. Your best friend from high school just popped in from out of town. do you offer them a place to stay or suggest a hotel?
I don't do nothing. If they wanna stay, they can ask.
7. Have you ever seen a ghost?
No, but I've made my sister think she saw one when I walked in a door once. Have I ever mentioned I look just like my mom?

8. Someone is driving in front of you rather erratically and slowing you way down...now you see that they are talking on a cell phone and checking themselves out in the mirror. The other lane is blocked off so you can not go around them. What do you do??

Call the cops, give them the license plate number and giggle as I drive by them after they get pulled over.

The Double Stealing Meme

Sunday Stealing: The Double Stealing Meme

1. If you could turn back the hands of time to correct one wrongdoing, what event would you choose and why?
the election that Bush won....
2. Are you one for tradition? If so, what traditions do you strongly believe in? If not, what makes tradition hypocritical?
I like tradition, but I really can't think of one off hand that I can write about. Boy that doesn't make a lot of sense, does it? I have a headache... I can't think straight. Sue me.
3. You were taking part in an event and you had to crossplay, who would you crossplay as and why?
I don't have the foggiest clue what the hell you are talking about.
4. If you only had one day left to live, how would you spend your last day? Would you be tempted to live fatally if you knew you were to die the next day, and if so, what extreme measures would you take?
I'd spend it with family... and on the phone with those who couldn't be there with me. Maybe I'd fly to Arizona. I don't know, ask me that day. Knowing me I'd just spend the day in a panic attack.
5. What are your top five sinful materialistic items, ones you'd expect from others including those closest to you? Why are each in the position they are in?
This seems like a simple question, but the end throws me. Is this a Bud question with the positioning of the items?
6. I am... still trying to figure out those 2 questions...

7. I feel... like horseshit warmed over. I woke up with a headache.

8. I see... a kitten running around playing with a golfball. She doesn't want anyone to be asleep right now.

9. I need... to win the lottery.

10. I love... many things.

11. I wish... this headache would go away.

12. I think... you are probably sick of hearing about my headache.

13. I hear... Serena crunching the cat food.

14. I crave... relief

15. I fear... that one day my kids will be out of the house and never want to come visit me.

16. I hope… thats not the case.

Wedding Bell Blues

Saturday 9: Wedding Bell Blues

1. If you have been or are married, tell us about your wedding. If you are not, tell us how would you want it to be.
It was sweet. Totally casual, people had beers in their hands while we said "I do". I wanted to be barefoot, but the husband said he wouldn't marry me without shoes on. Yeah, I don't know either. We roasted a hog, had a friend run the stereo for our make-shift DJ service. It was great! Cheap (because we had no money) but it was so fun... I wouldn't have changed a thing. Except I would have kept my shoes off. I still don't get that.
2. What age would you encourage your children to get married?
I don't think there is a perfect age. It all depends where you are at in your life.
3. Who got married at the last wedding that you attended?
the bride & groom
4. Do you enjoy weddings and receptions?
most of them, yes. If they don't play the Chicken Dance the whole thing wasn't worth it.
5. Have you cried at a wedding?
Not yet
6. Would you prefer a lavish event or a intimate ceremony?
Lavish is for the birds. Who are you trying to impress anyway?
7. Have you ever been in some one’s wedding party? If yes, do tell.
Twice. My sisters when I was around 11 or something and my bestest friends'. Hers was comical because I was 8 months pregnant.... she's got stories about that that she loves to tell. I'll just keep my mouth shut.
8. Does a wedding make you happy and sentimental or grouchy and skeptical?
Depends on who is getting married. If the husband becomes the ex and he gets married I might just be a little grouchy. If my demons get married I'll probably be one of those blubbery idiot moms that everyone want to lock in the coat closet.
9. Why do you think our divorce rate is so high?
Divorce is too easy. Plus nobody takes marriage seriously. I got into an argument with someone once... he tried to tell me that his marriage vows meant more than mine did. Funny how he's divorced now and I'm not. I guess I won that argument. Yea me!