Saturday, June 28, 2008

Summer Classes for Men

Summer Classes for Men at

Class 1
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 2
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper, The Floor and The Treadmill--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 3
Dirty Dishes--Can They Levitate by Themselves and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples Disproving this Theory on Video.

Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM

Class 4
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.

Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 5
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 6
Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes..

Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 7
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM
Location to be determined

Class 8
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.

4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 9
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.

Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 10
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.

Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 11
The Vacuum Cleaner/Toilet Brush-- What They Are and How They Are Used.
Live Demonstration.

Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

Got this in my email tonight, had to share it with you all.

Reading it, as funny as it is, I have to say that I am pretty lucky. The husband doesn't need any of these classes, except for the Driving Simulations one, but he'd never pass it. My driving scares him, which is fine by me... I hate to drive unless I'm driving the pickup through an open field or a big mud hole - which he has yet to let me do. *pouts* WTF did we get a 4 wheel drive for anyway if we aren't going to test it out??

We actually get into arguments about the whole toilet paper roll thing, though. Having 2 daughters in those preteen/early teen years - they just won't put a new roll on.. .it just doesn't happen. Mom does this. Why should they? They are nice enough to take it out of the package and leave it on the counter for me. Thats so nice of them. Sometimes they even balance it on the toilet paper holder! That makes me happy - they don't want me to do the extra work of moving it the 2 feet from the counter to the holder.

Somewhere down the line the husband has convinced himself that he is the only person in the house who DOES replace the roll. Forget all the rolls that seem to magically get on there by themselves - the ones he didn't put there. Wonder how they got there? I just let him think he's the only one who does...

... what he doesn't know is I fix the roll when he does it. The paper has to go OVER not under. You would think he would have caught on by now.

I should sign him up for Class #10. He's been asked many times why he even has a cell phone....

A surprise white in my yard this morning...

Remember my post about white tiger lilies?

They bloomed this morning!!!

oh... and the rose bushes? THEY ALL SURVIVED! They haven't bloomed yet, but I have 2 buds on one plant - will bloom this week I'm sure.

Maybe I have a green thumb afterall....

Good News!

Good news, that is, if you are a member of! There's an arcade now and we are all already addicted.

So consider this your official invitation to come join InsanityCafe and all it has to offer... seriously, you should. We are all nuts and we embrace it lovingly.