I think the husband wants me dead

I swear either he wants me dead or he loves to see me in pain... or I've just had a very bad weekend.

Yesterday we went to the store to get a new thermostat for our furnace. While we were there we picked up a few other items. Let's start with the thermostat, pretty normal routine of picking that out and placing it in the bottom of the cart.

Now we're on our way to the pet section to grab some dog food. Pit stop in the windshield washer fluid section. We buy this crap by the case because I have this obsession with a clean windshield. The husband tells me to grab the thermostat out of the bottom of the cart so we don't squish it with the case of fluid. I reach my hand down in the cart and instead of waiting for me to actually have the thermostat out of the fricken cart, he starts to put the fluid box in the cart. My hand isn't free of the box and the fricken box top rips and he drops the box... right onto my hand. Dammit. Ouch. It's just one finger after the pain subsides... but a throbbing finger. Don't want to cry in the store so I suck it up and deal with it. But it hurts.

So we get the dog food and he decides he wants a new snow shovel. I head down to the clothes to see whats on sale and we meet up about 10 minutes later. We go to the checkout and start checking out. He says "watch out" and moves the shovel towards me... right into my head! A shovel upside the head... yeah that hurts. Now I'm just pissed. Hurt finger, hurt head. I want to just cry.

Then today. Yep, it carries on the whole weekend. We went with a friend to pick up a donkey for the church Christmas program tomorrow. No, not a real donkey... a fake real-life looking one. So this thing has felt/carpet fur that is covered in hay & dirt. (The donkey was in a barn, go figure.) We are vacuuming the donkey with the vacuum hose in church when the husband decides we'll put the floor attachment on so the rollers can "fluff" the fur. I'm cleaning one of the hooves and I hear him say "look out". Is he talking to me or our friend? I don't know, I'm knelt down on the ground minding my own business. Then I feel my hair being sucked up and twisted around the roller of the vacuum.

I've had a very bad weekend.

WTF is wrong with this country?

Willmar man fed up with vandals, takes matters into own hands

Imagine you live in a house surrounding by farmland and for one week every year your home is the target for 50 teenagers looking to trash it. Scott Wagar spends a week, every September, on high alert. He knows come nightfall on one night that week kids from the high school near his home in Willmar will come at his property armed with eggs, toilet paper and screwdrivers and try deface it. "There are usually 30-70 kids at one time, it's a little intimidating with 30 people coming at you," Wagar said today.
Every year, for the last 8 years, Wagar's house has been the target. He's called the sheriff's department and they have been able to chase the kids off a few times but this past September Wagar met the kids at his property line head on armed with a water-gun full of a little more than water. "I had one third fox urine, two thirds water in a super soaker just so they would stink bad and I just started spraying out there." The kids, Wagar said, threw eggs back at him. Wagar said the kids were about 10 feet from being on Wagar's property when Wagar says they jumped him. "One kid got behind me and put his arm around my neck choking me," Wagar said. Wagar broke free and nearly broke the kid's finger. The kids ran and dropped a cell phone along the way. The next day Wagar demanded money for damages from the cell phone's owner and when he didn't get it he said her turned the phone in to the police.
On Wednesday Wagar was charged with assault, theft and disorderly conduct. No one else, was so much as ticketed. "I thought we had law and order but it does make me question it." In eight years, no teenager, even when authorities have chased them away has been ticketed for trespassing. Kandiyohi County Sheriff Dan Hartog told me today he can't ticket anyone for trespass without seeing it happen, watching the homeowner order them away, and the person then refusing. Kandiyohi County prosecutor Boyd Beccue said he does not discuss ongoing files, to do so would be improper so he could not comment to KARE 11 on Wagar's charges. The case goes back to court on January 20th. Scott Wagar faces a 90-day jail sentence and 1,000 fine for each of the three crimes he is charged with. He has entered a plea of not guilty and will be representing himself in court.

What the hell kind of bullshit is this? When I read this story this morning, my blood boiled. The farmer is charged? For theft? Assault? What about that little dickweed that jumped him? And the dipshit that dropped his phone? Finders-keepers, I thought.

This is unbelievable. I hope this poor guy is backed up in court with hundreds of people demanding that something be done. Eight years he's gone through this... he knew it was coming, how can the law be so stupid?

I applaud this guy for being prepared. Fox urine? Priceless... now if the parents of these bozos would just turn their kids in. You can't tell me they didn't smell that one on them when they came home that night!

Happy Birthday To Me

Today is the day, the day the world was blessed with the birth of ME!

The husband tells me I'm 36 today, I guess I am. I always have to ask him. Once I hit 31, I didn't care anymore about how old I was so I always forget. I know about how old I am, but the actual number don't mean jack squat to me.

Only bad thing? For the next 2 months I'll hear about how I'm older than the husband. Snot that he is. He absolutely loves giving me crap about that. I just look at him and say "well, I still look better than you". It usually shuts him up.

So Happy Birthday to me... I'll accept any and all chocolate as a gift.

Waffles, touching, senses, skills, holidays, DUI's and other stuff

This week we will answer some crazy questions brought to you by Berleen, the color seafoam green and the number 0 (as in the number of days until my birthday - hey it's my birthday, I can announce it if I want!).

1. Do you like waffles? No. I think they are an overcooked pancake with holes in it and I don't even like pancakes.
2. Name 3 things that is within your reach right now, excluding anything to do with your computer/laptop. My coffee, a pepper shaker (not sure where the salt one is...) and a 10 pack of markers.
3. Do you hang laundry out on a line outside? In the summer I do, but then everyone bitches that their clothes are stiff. I use Downy for goodness sakes!
4. Loss of vision, ability to speak or hearing - which do you choose? (you have to choose one....) I'd have to go with speaking - not see a computer screen or hear when I get mail? How rude!
5. On a scale from 1 - 10, how are your computer skills? I'd say about an 8. The insides are what throw me off.
6. Do you volunteer or donate to anything around the holidays? I should, but I don't. I throw a few bucks in the red buckets if I see them, but thats about it.
7. If a person receives a DUI while in government office, should he lose his/her position? I think it proves their human. A stupid human, but a human. I don't think they should lose their position over that. Multiple ones? Absolutley.
8. Do you take vitamins? No.
9. Do you wear fingernail polish? All the time.. I get accused of having fake nails all the time because they grow like mad and they are really hard. I don't always want long nails, but it's hard to keep up with.
10. If every flower in the world only grew into one color, which color would you want? Yellow.

It's snow

Well, it ain't much but I think it's going to be enough to cause snowmobile tracks through it later today...

TMI Tuesday -

1. Do you consider sexy underthings a present for you or your partner? Probably him... he enjoys them more than I do, but yet at the same time, I don't understand the point of them because he likes them better on the floor anyway. I have enough laundry on the floor.
2. What are 3 characteristics of "your type"? Have you best relationship(s) been with your type or when you have gone against it?

1. Hair. In the 80's and 90's it had to be long hair, but I've since grown out of that. But facial hair is a must and I'm not talking a 5 o'clock shadow here... Grizzly Adams has the best facial hair ever! And a hairy chest - gotta have it. I like hair, what can I say?
2. A big teddy bear wrapped up in a rough, bad boy exterior. Ever notice how the "bad boys" tend to be the softest inside? It's the preppy idiots who are the mean bastards.
   
3. Humor. Gotta be able to laugh - especially at me because I say random things that are meant to be laughed at.
   

3. What is on your Santa list this year? jobs for those who need them.
4. Generally speaking, who has historically had a higher libido, you or your partner(s)? He's got it by far. Anytime, anywhere... me? Most days I'd choose sleep over anything else.
5. The unsculptured female bush seems to have passed from fashion. What about men, do you think they need to trim and shave "down there"? See #2. It wouldn't make a whole lot of sense, would it?

My 10 Favorite Holiday Songs

1. Rudolf, of course. And only - and I mean ONLY by Gene Autry. All other versions should be banned.
   
2. I'm Getting Nothin' For Christmas - because my kids shouldn't. Those demons.
   
3. Chrissy the Christmas Mouse - because my demon Krissy asks for it every year!
4. Frosty the Snowman - because, who doesn't?
5. Here Comes Santa Claus
6. Jingle Bell Rock - because it's played at the beginning of Lethal Weapon, which was my introduction to Mel Gibson
   
7. Winter Wonderland - its' fun!
   
8. All I Want For Christmas is my 2 Front Teeth - it's just the cutest fricken song ever!
   
9. My new favorite, which I just found....
   I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas
   
   
10. and, of course....
    

Manic Monday

What is the most expensive meal you've ever eaten? I don't do expensive, so I suppose just a steak dinner at a steakhouse or something.

What is the fastest speed you've ever traveled in a car? around 140 I suppose? It was in a Nova that was owned by a friend of mine that I loved to drive. Someday I will have my own Nova.

What is the highest building you've ever been to the top floor of? I don't think I've ever been up in a really high building. Nothing that I was that excited about anyway.

Bestest Friend & Bestest Sister

Remember my Insurance sucks donkey parts post the other day? Well.. my bestest friend is home from the hospital as of yesterday. I can't even describe how that makes me feel... sick, sad, pissed off... I could go on and on about how I feel, but I pretty much said it all the other day, so I'll just shut up and keep you updated.

Yesterday I went out in the bitter cold and snow to take pictures of my favorite sister's family. (I only have 1 sister though, so it's pretty easy to call her my favorite) I wish we would have had more time - and warmer temps. Everyone was freezing and in a hurry and I just think the pics could have been a little better. They turned out ok, I mean - they turned out good, but ... I don't know, maybe I just am my worst critic.

This one is raw... I have about a dozen of them that my sister has to pick from (I weeded out the closed eyes, looking away, stupid looks already).
But that is my sister's family. Her 4 kids, plus my nephews girlfriend, Mandy, who should be his wife by now. He is the oldest and they've been together since they were in high school. I tried to get a pic of just them together, but by then I was freezing and I took the camera off the tripod and Neil wouldn't cooperate anyway..... if there was a good pic, my shivering hands screwed it up.
But ... I did get the most awesome picture of my absolutley gorgeous nieces! I played around with this one a bit so I could frame it for myself.Aren't they just the most adorable people in the world? The one on the very left is my Goddaughter, so she's more special than the other two (just kidding! Well.... maybe not).

Snowy Sunday Stealing Meme

Cheers to all us thieves! <--- click there to play!~
1. When you buy a greetings card are the words or the picture more important to you? The words. And they have to be funny... unless it's REALLY good sappy like that would make someone cry.

2. Do you ever make gifts for people, if so what, or do you buy them? I used to like to make gifts, but the husband thinks it's kinda cheap, so now I don't.

3. Are you going on holiday this year? If so, where? "Going on holiday" I love that phrase. I think we should use that in the US more often. And since the year is almost over - no I'm not.

4. What was the best party you've ever been to? Does the party after my wedding count? It was outside, we roasted a hog and danced. It was fun.

5. If you are married, describe your wedding. If not, what would your ideal wedding be like? Ha ha.. I just did! We got married outside in a quick 4 minute ceremony by a J.P. then we... well, re-read #4.

6. What's the most romantic thing that's ever been said to you? "You know what word comes to mind right now?" (me - "what?") "Mine." - one of the nights that the husband & I got back together.... we still broke up after that though LOL (and got married 2 years later....)

7. What's your favorite romantic song? "When You Say Nothing At All"

8. Favorite heartbreak song? November Rain

9. Which celebrity would you like a dream date with? Duh. Come on people.... you know this one!

10. Which female celebrity do you find beautiful?? Angelina - if she can't turn a woman into a lesbian - nobody can.

11. Which male celebrity do you think is attractive? Didn't I just answer this one with the hot Mel shower pic?

12. Describe the kind of underwear you normally wear. Bikini, cotton, with some strange pattern on them. Today it's Sponge Bob. Seriously. And the husband thinks its so wrong when he's trying to get some and he's grabbing at Sponge Bob.

13. If you could be in a television sit-com, which would you choose? Rosanne... or the George Lopez Show.

14. Which character would you like to be? Character as in what? On one of those shows? None. I wanna be someone new... I'd have to replace one of them and I wouldn't want to do that.

15. What are your favorite boy and girl names? Oh for good grief. Who picked these questions? Well, obviously Taryn & Kristina for girls or I wouldn't have picked those. My other ones were Ayla, Beth, Misa or Kwani. Boys - Sebastian, Dominic & Durc.

16. What's your supermarket of choice? One with food???

17. What is your best character trait? I think it's my sarcasm, but not everyone agrees.

18. What is your worst habit? Smoking, I guess.

19. Elaborate on your default icon. Huh?

20. What is your current relationship status? Miserably happy in a 13 year marriage.

21. Ever have a near death experience? No.

22. Name an obvious quality about you? Who's on the quality control board? Geez.

23. What’s the name of a song stuck in your head right now? I'm Getting Nuttin' For Christmas

24. Name a celebrity you would marry. Would I? Don't you mean which one I'm going to marry? Didn't you listen to Bud? He told you Mel left his wife... why do you think that was?

25. Do you like pain? now thats the best question ever. And the answer is - only if the husband is giving it to me and under what circumstances.

Insurance sucks donkey parts

My best friend is sitting in the hospital right now with full blown placenta previa . She's been there a week. The doctor came in yesterday and told her that because "nothing" has happened, she could go home. Problem is, "home" is 1/2 hour away. If she starts bleeding again, she can bleed out in 5 minutes - and die. The reasons the doctor told her she could go home? Insurance. It's out of his hands, so to speak. Stupid.

Luckily, as that's what I'm calling it, she passed a blood clot this morning so thats enough to keep her there another day or two. Bad news, she's in labor & delivery while they monitor her contractions.

She's only 32 weeks along.

They don't think Brady is going to be born today, but there is always a chance. They are just taking precautions.

Why does the insurance have more power than a doctor? If she goes home, she could DIE. What part of DIE doesn't the insurance understand? Just because nothing is happening doesn't mean it's not going to. We are talking about the life of a mother and child here - why is there a dollar amount on that? A doctor should always be able to override an insurance's decision and the inusrance should just bend over and take it.

This is bullshit.

If anything happens to her or that baby I'm going to be someone's worst nightmare.

I told her that I hope she bleeds a little bit every time they tell her to go home. It's sad that I have to wish that, but it's the only way that I can know she's in a safe place.

Saturday 9: How Do You Sleep

Sorry, Bud, I had to steal the pic. It's hot.

1. How long do you sleep each night? Usually about 8 hours. Sometimes 9.

2. Do you fall asleep easily? So easy that I send my husband into a jealous rage.

3. Do you fall asleep at times not in your bed? I've been known to fall asleep in my recliner very often. The family knows that if I'm rocking, I'm awake, if I'm not rocking; I've fallen asleep.

4. Do you listen to music or use “white noise” to sleep? I used to, as a teen/early adult, but the husband can't sleep with the radio on so now it's just quiet.

5. Do you sleep through the night or get up a couple of times? Most of the time I sleep through the night, unless the dogs wake me up. Usually they wake the husband up.

6. Do you have trouble sleeping away from your own bed? Yes. I have a hard time falling asleep away from home, but once I'm asleep - it's fair game.

7. Do you need an alarm clock to get you up? I set one, but I usually wake up 5 or 10 minutes before it goes off. I think it's genetic personally, because my brothers, sister & my dad is the same way. And we all wake up early, too. 7am is sleeping in.

8. Do you ever take medication to help you sleep? Only when I'm sick. I'm very sensitive to medication so even non-drowsy meds makes me sleepy. It's annoying when I'm sick.

9. Do you/have you slept with pets? Chico the Pomeranian is at my feet every night. Serena, my bitchy persian, sleeps right next to me and on some nights she sleeps too close to my face and I wake up with goopy eyes (Kinda sucks to develop an allergy to cats when you own 3 of them and refuse to get rid of them). The husband gets up at 2:30am for work, so after he gets outta bed, Saki (the golden retriever) takes his place. She is a bed hog. I've slept with animals every since I was a teenager... I actually move over for them in my sleep, which sucks when it comes to Saki because she wants to sleep right next to me so I end up at the edge of the bed by morning. And with a sore back from being uncomfortable.

But if Saki is comfortable, its all worth it. *eye roll*

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