I'm not one of THOSE moms

Demon #2 came home from school yesterday sick. I picked her up around 10am. School nurse says she's not running a fever but her throat is red. Fine, I go get her. The husband already had an appointment at the clinic for later that day so I called and asked if Demon #2 could just go with him... a double appointment. Sure, not a problem. The husband was going in because he's had a cold for over a week and he thought he might have his barbell from his tongue piercing stuck in his lung. (it wasn't)
So we go. Nevermind the fact that our appointment was at 5:45 and we didn't even get into the exam room until 6:30. That was enough to piss anyone off. The doc comes in and I tell him the symptoms and such... and I also say that the school suggested she be seen because of the strep and such going around. He says "so the school wanted you to bring her in" and I said, "yeah, I guess". He turns to look at me and says; "for a cold?". Hey.. the husband was already coming in, I wouldn't have made an appointment otherwise. Fucktard. Don't get on my nerves you ass. He looks in Demon #2's throat... sort of. Barely. I would have done a better job. Thats all he does. Not another thing. No throat culture, nothing. Proceeds to write a prescription. WTF?

You all know where this is headed.... ok, those of you who know how I feel about prescriptions...

I ask what the prescription is for. Clariton.

"And that is...??"

He says its a decongestant. Well I got all sorts of that shit at home. Why do I need a prescription for this? Ok, so what else is on that notepad??

Amoxicillion.

Whoa baby. Oh no. WTF is that for? "I thought she just has a cold?"

"This is for just in case she has something else?"

SOMETHING ELSE? You dumb fuck piece of crap who got your diploma out of a cracker jack box... isn't it his job to check to see if she has SOMETHING ELSE? Not just shove an antibiotic down her throat and hope for the best. I don't think so. I took the prescription and shoved it up his ass in my purse and went home.

The husband also has this death cold that only antibiotoics can cure... he's taking the antibiotics. He's a big boy, he can make his own decisions but I refuse to give my child anything she doesn't need. She can fight this death cold off the old fashioned way - with homemade chicken soup that I made and some sleep.

Antibiotics my ass.

For a cold.

Fucktard.

Sunday Stealing: The Random Question Meme

Sunday Stealing: The Random Question Meme

1. How old do you look? How the heck am I supposed to know the answer to that? I've been carded within the past year, does that count? I guess it depends what kind of hair day I'm having.

2. Where do you live? Not in a shoe. Not in a cave. Not under the sea.

3. Are you waiting for something? Aren't we all? I'm waiting for a lot of things. I'm waiting for this headache to go away. I'm waiting for the cats to quit looking at me like I'm prey just because I haven't fed them yet. I'm waiting for my demons to wake up. I'm waiting for the sun to rise.

4. What’s one pet peeve of yours that is not common? Ok promise not to laugh? Pinky swear? When people call large cats by the wrong species. I want to smack the kid in the zoo that runs up to the cougar and says "Mommy!!! A tiger!". My kids learned the difference young. They even know the difference between a jaguar and a leopard.

5. Do you want/have kids? Why? Do you have some for sale?

6. Have you ever thought about converting your religion? I never really thought of going through the process or anything. I have many beliefs of many religions, I think the one that I connect most to is Wiccan. But I think a lot of that is because I also believe, quite strongly, that what we should be worshipping most is the land and the power of mother nature. I suppose thats the American Indian in me.

7. Last shocking news you heard? Shocking? I suppose in December when they found Caylee Anthony's remains. I wasn't really shocked, but saddened. Nothing really shocks me anymore... we are a frucked up world.

8. What was the last thing you drank? Coffee

9. Who do you most look like in your family? My mom. I"ve stopped people in their tracks before thinking they were seeing a ghost. I even have her eyes... one eyelid doesn't open as far as the other - how cool is that?
I always say that this is the gift she left me... now I can never forget what my mom looked like, all I have to do is look in the mirror. There are very few pictures of her, so it's a great gift.

10. If you could have something right now, anything, what would it be? A cigarette, but I wanna finish this meme before I go out to have one.

11. Where does most of your family live? In the same little town I live in.

12. Where did you grow up? Can I just echo the words of #11?

13. Where do you want to go on vacation? South Dakota

14. Have you ever had a panic attack? Ok this is a funny-ass question. Do you want to know the steps to having them or the steps to getting yourself out of them? I'm a good example of an expert on those damn forsaken things.

15. What can’t you wait for? to meet my Kimber and hug her and squeeze her.

16. When’s the last time you told someone you loved him or her and meant it? Yesterday I told the husband that. I suppose I meant it.

17. Have your parents ever smoked pot? Yes.

18. Want someone back in your life? Of course I do.

19. What do you order at the bar? Either a Slo-7 or a Malibu Pineapple

20. When was the last time you cried really, really hard? It's been a few years... like uncontrollably, want to die, causes you a headache kind of cry? Yeah, a few years.

21. Ever licked someone’s cheek? LOL Yep. Who wrote these questions again? That used to be my thing, actually. I used to lick everyone, unsuspecting... I don't remember why.

22. What is your favorite thing to eat with peanut butter? Ok someone wrote these questions that knows me.... my favorite thing? Ice Cream & chocolate.

23. Where were you on July 4th, 2008? I was at home, in bed... I have an alibi. I swear to God I didn't do it! My alibi is rock solid.

24. What are your nicknames? Who's speaking to me? Ber, BerButt, BerBear, Pupppet, Pup, Angel, Lee, Dork, Honey..... I have a few.

25. If you could go back in time, how far back would you go? I don't know if I'd really want to. Wait.. am I just going back to visit? To spy? Then I wanna go back to when my parents were dating... that would be sweet to spy on!

Saturday 9: Your Bestest Day

Saturday 9: Your Bestest Day

1. What one day of your life do you think was your best day? Two of them - the day I got Saki and years ago on the day I got Max.
You thought I was gonna say the birth of my demons, didn't you? Those were not good days. I was in pain and something the size of a fucking bowling ball was pushing itself out of my woohoo. Thats supposed to be the best days? Yeah right.
The best day was the day before Demon #1 was born... didn't have a parenting care in the world, hows that?
It wasn't the day I got married because everyone who's had a wedding knows how fricken stressful that is.
2. What one day of your life do you think was your worst day? The day I married my ex-husband. For so many reasons. That was just a bad day all around. Seeing the look on the husband's face (my current husband) that night when he realized I did get married was one of the worst things in the world... yeah, long story. I'll tell the story some day.
3. If you had to pick the best year of your life, when was it and why? 1995. We were young, starting out as parents, broke out of our minds, got married, lived in a shithole of a trailer house (trailer trash, we were!!!). It was good times. In all honesty, I miss those days.
4. If you had to pick the worst year of your life, when was it and why? I'd have to figure out the year, but it was my 6th grade year. We were living in Idaho and my parents decided to go back to construction, so I moved back to MN to live with my sister. Changed schools - twice. Just a lot of adjusting to living in someone else's house, new schools... it was harsh.
5. Most recently, what night did you do something that you loved? Don't remember, honestly.
6. Most recently, what night did you do something that you hated? Last night. Slept with a sick husband.
7. Tell us about your best relationship that did not work out. If it was the best, why wouldn't it have worked out?
8. Tell us about your worst romantic relationship that you’ve had. I suppose the ex-husband, although I never thought of putting him and romantic in the same sentence.
9. Is there a celebrity that you’d love to spend a “no hold bars” night with? Yeah, ok, seriously people... we've been over this. But just to change it up a bit, I'll pick someone else.... Travis Tritt.... as long as he sings to me.

Friday Rambles

No memes today... at least none that interest me, so I'll just fill in the space with the random thoughts.

- Everytime I lather a bar of soap to the point where the soap drips out of my hand, I think of my mom. It's one of the few memories I have of her - being in the bathtub and her giving me soap lather/bubbles.
- I need a hair cut. It's awful. It's so dry and yucky. The husband is cringing because my hair is getting longer again to where he likes it. He wants it back down to my waist. Ack. Thats a lot of hair to deal with, not sure if I'm up for it.
- It's gonna be 40 degrees today so I have to get Saki out for a walk. Now that it's warming up maybe I can lose this junk on my ass.
- I hate birch trees. They drop sticks.
- I need more stickers on my laptop.
- I took out a bunch of old CDs that I burned a few years ago... I hadn't heard some of those songs since then! I love hearing songs I haven't heard in a long time.
- My new addiction is CMT's Classics videos. It's amazing to see how much some people have aged.... and I feel old when I realize some of the songs that are now "classics".
- I wonder if my roses survived the winter.
- My curtain rod has been half falling down in my kitchen window for almost a month and it bugs me.

Scary Cats, Tom Cruise, Smiling At Sarcasm, And More!

1. This cat- Link- scary or cute?
I think it's cute. If it was a calico, then I'd think it was scary. I hate calicos. Yuck. I just realized that I had a dream last night that I went into our basement and there were 15-20 stray cats down there.
2. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes reproducing again. Good idea or don't care?
I don't really care. They are freaky ass people - ever notice that they are ALWAYS happy & smiling? Life ain't that good. And this whole detoxing shit that Katie is doing? Gimme a break. They both need their heads fixed and Tom needs to fall off a couch backwards and hit his.
3. Do you smile at strangers when you make eye contact?
If they are hot, of course.
4. What percentage of your sarcasm isn't really sarcasm at all?
99.9% of it. My sarcasm is like birth control.
5. If you were to be a dog breed, which breed would you be?
a Golden Retriever, of course! Because they are beautiful, smart, soft, willing to please and you tell me... does anyone NOT love a golden when they see one?
6. Go grab the closest book. Open up to page 27. Whats the 4th sentence?
You'll enjoy deliciuos food served in Amish homes, take part in a private crafting class and learn about the "Plain People" and their simple, inspirational way of life.
7. When's the last time someone put one over on you, told you a story that you totally fell for when it wasn't anywhere near true?
I tend to believe anything someone tells me. I really can't think of the last time in particular though. It was probably one of the demons.
8. Ever seen Michael Jackson in person? No.
9. Do you have a gut?
ha ha yep. Gained 20 lbs quitting smoking. Now you would think that since I started again I'd lose the weight? Nope.. ain't happening. All 20 lbs is still there.
10. What is one thing in your kitchen you have too many/too much of? Bowls. Like plastic bowls... the storage kind? Need a certain size, color? I've got it.
11. Ever had a colon cleansing?
Nope and I prefer it dirty, thank you.

.... and the winner is......

Well I guess the kitties win! Thanks to all those who voted!

Have I Ever--

Have You Ever-- (stolen from Nurseexec, but she said I could!)

1. Jumped out of an airplane? Why in sam hell would anyone ever want to seriously do this? Not me. I never have and I won't. Unless, of course, someone throws a peanut butter cup out the window. Then I might think about it.

2. Won something? I won like $75 at a raffle one time. Actually I've won a few raffles, but that was the largest one. I've won on a few scratch offs before. Oh! And I won a Toby Keith CD from his website a few years ago.

3. Moved away from your home town? My parents moved us away when I was younger, but we ended up back here. I moved away... a couple miles down the road... during my "finding myself" years. I ended up back here, imagine that.

4. Been in the hospital? Well yeah... I spent a lot of time in one when my dad was going through that shit a couple years ago. But me personally? Having my 2 kids was the only major hospital visit. Well, unless you wanna count the couple hours in the ER when I had my motorcycle accident in my teen years and the other time when my ex-husband thought it would be a wonderful idea to slam a radio into my head.

5. Grown your own vegetables? I had a garden once. One day I went out and it was doing ok, the next day I went out and the green beans had taken over the whole damn garden. I've tried growing tomatoes here in town, but I find it much easier just to walk over to my parents house and help myself to thiers.

6. Stayed up all night? Yeah, a few times. I don't particularly care for it and it tends to give me a headache. I need my sleep. I'm not this beautiful for nothing... beauty sleep, people, beauty sleep! I think the last time was maybe 5 or so years ago. There was this time that my bestest friend & I stayed up really late, but I think we eventually went to sleep to catch a nap before the kids woke up.

7. Gone swimming in the ocean? Yep I have. I find it very cold and scary, though. There's sharks in those waters.

8. Been out of the country? Just a few feet into Canada... my dad got pissed off at the searching of our van at the border and we turned around. True story. But he did turn to me and say "well now you can say you've been to Canada". Thanks, Dad.

9. Played a video game? LOL Yeah. My best friend in high school used to spend

hours playing on her Nintendo. Then when the demons were little we had a Sega and I would play hours of Road Rash - good times!

10. Been chased by an animal? Just my dogs.

11. Cheated on someone? Can I skip this question? I was a bad girl....

12. Been to a theme park? Disneyworld & I guess Valleyfair counts too. My dream was to meet Mickey Mouse and I did! It was great. I turned into a 5 year old in 2.2 seconds.

13. Played Scrabble? I wanna know who hasn't, thats my question.

14. Colored your hair? I don't even know my real hair color anymore. I think I've colored my hair every color besides black.

15. Gotten in trouble over something you said or did on the internet? Not really. Well, maybe. Who are we getting in trouble with? Be more specific, people! I have gotten banned from a forum or two in my life. That was fun.

Sunday Stealing

1. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? TGIFridays. Nobody can beat their steaks. Dont' tell me someone's is better... don't crush my spirit.
2. What food could you eat for 2 weeks straight and not get sick of it? Oh come on, seriously people, do we not know the answer to this already? Ok, I'll skip the pbcups and go for some real food. Pork Chops & mashed tatos smothered in butter & peas. Thats a meal fit for a queen.
And, of course, a peanut butter shake for dessert.
3. Have you ever had anything removed from your body? Just some ex-boyfriends I didn't want anymore. Oh.. and on 2 different occasions, an alien life force that was taking residence in my belly. The first one would try to birth itself out of my belly button every now and then, but I'd poke it and it would stop.
4. What is the last heavy item you lifted? The kitchen table. I didn't really lift it, but it's good enough for this answer. I hand scrubbed the area rug under it.
5. Have you ever been knocked unconscious? Yep. Stupid deer. We (one of the ex's I've had removed) hit a deer while on a motorcycle. It wasn't pretty. I have no idea how long I was out though. I think I came to in the ambulance, but I'm not sure if that was the 1st time or not.
6. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? No. One more thing to cause a fricken anxiety attack? No thank you.
7. If you could change your name, what would you change it to? Alya or Beth, since I didn't name my girls that. Or maybe Isabella - thats my mom's middle name.
8. What’s your goal for the year? To double what I made last year in my shops. That would throw me over what my husband makes :) He's not one of those that would mind, but I would just love to hear that I make more money than my husband!
9. Last person you hugged? Krissy-Bear (aka Demon #2). She's a hugging fool.
10. First place you went this morning? First I went to the hanger-thing behind the door to get my robe. Then I went back to the bed because my slippers were next to it, then I went to the back door to let the dogs out.... .am I supposed to be answering these questions after I actually do something amazing?
11. Do you always answer your phone? No.
12. It’s four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it? A ghost. I have texting blocked.
13. If you could change your eye color what would it be? Ice blue. My husband has a weakness for blonde haired, blue eyed women. (anyone notice I'm a brown eyed brunette? Figure that one out) I can do the blonde, but I can't do the eyes. My eyes are too dark brown to change with contacts.
14. What’s on your wish list for your birthday? A new camera lens
15. Does the future make you more nervous or excited? Everything makes me nervous
16. Do you have any saved texts? Dude, weren't you paying attention?
17. Ever been in a car wreck? Not really a car wreck. We totalled that bike when we hit there deer though.
18. Do you have an accent? Yeah, you betcha I do!
19. What was the last song to make you cry? When they played Hurt at the end of that 2 hour biography I watched on Johnny Cash last week. And then they had his daughter telling about when she first saw the video and she told her dad that it was depressing and sounded like he was going to die and that he was saying goodbye... and he smiled and said "I am". Dammit Johnny.
20. What did you do last night? Watched a horror flick that had Lindsay Lohan in it... she's actually really good at screaming.
21. Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? I think I did hit it once.
22. Current hate right now? Cold temps
23. Met someone who changed your life? Everyone changes your life in some way or another.
24. How did you bring in the New Year? Sleeping
25. What song represents you? I have no idea. I'd say it'd have to be a Johnny Cash song though, but none come to mind, so maybe I'm wrong.


Can anyone tell me where sweetcopswife is? Did I miss something?

Random Saturday Morning Pictures

Is this my life?

I'm sitting here in confusion, but I must write this down. I'm not sure if this is really my life or if I've replaced lives with my perfect one that lives in my dreams.

Demon #2 comes home from school and I ask how her day went.

"Good, what are we having for supper?" Typical question from this kid, honestly.

"I don't know, I have to go to the store but I can't get out of the driveway because you guys didn't shovel the very end."

"I'll do it when I'm done" (by now she was in the bathroom)

She gets out of the bathroom, proceeds to tell Demon #1, who has gotten home by then, that they have to go shovel the rest of the driveway. Demon #1 protests. Demon #2 says "I'll do it myself".

She goes out and shovels. She leaves about 5 minutes worth of shoveling for Demon #1 and comes in. Demon #1 goes out (because I made her.... thats not the perfect dream, though... come on, no dream is perfect).

I ask Demon #2 if she wants to go with me to the store. "Sure". She never wants to go with me. We go to the store. I have to buy a scrub brush and she sees a toilet brush. She wants to buy one. Just happens I broke ours today cleaning the shower (don't ask). "I'll clean the toilet if you let me get it".

Huh?

So we buy it. We also buy enough other crap to fill 4 grocery bags.

We get home and she takes the 12 pack of pop and both gallons of milk out of the car. I bring in 2 grocery bags. I go back out into the garage and she's struggling with her load, so I grab the gallon of milk from her and set it on the steps. She puts the pop in the garage fridge. I go to the car and grab the other 2 bags. She walks up behind me, grabs both bags from me and heads towards the steps... grabs the gallon of milk on her way in. Yes, she had the 1st gallon of milk still in her hands, plus the 2 grocery bags.

I'm scared at this point. We are talking adrenaline rush.

She helps me put the groceries away, grabs the toilet brush and says "ok how do I use this thing?". She goes in the bathroom and proceeds to clean the toilet.

Then says; "this is fun!".

I don't think this is my life.... but I like this one. Don't give me my old one back.

And please tell me blogging this didn't jinx me.

Vote for the new one.

So Bud had this idea that I should throw some ideas up and have you, my loyal wonderful readers, vote on what I should use as my new siggy tag. He said 5, but I am doing 4... just to be rebellious and not follow directions.

So here we go.

1.2.3.

4.

Vote over there ------>

Dryer sheets, Octomom, roses, puppies, oh my!

My week is all screwed up now. It's Thursday, right? I don't know anymore because I woke up with the husband still in bed and he just left 5 minutes ago ... it's 6:40 now. If he was going to work, he's out the door way before this. He's not going to work today... or tomorrow.... he's on the road headed northeast to go join up with a bunch of his snowmobiling buddies to spend a 4 day weekend talking smart, drinking and maybe snowmobiling. Sucky thing is, we are in a winter storm warning today and he's driving with it. And I have to shovel the driveway myself.

Anyway, since it's Thursday, it's time for my Thursday Thunk answers. I sure wish Kimber would hurry up and get back online because she's long overdue for her turn. I'm sick of coming up with questions.... I'm running out of ideas. Next week it's going to end up being dumb questions like "whats your favorite color", which is actually one of the hardest questions I have ever had to answer. I don't have a favorite, I like all colors - except white. Especially on walls. Gotta have bright, make your eyes bleed colors on my walls. It makes me happy.

Anyway, read. Then go play yourself. Not play with yourself you sicko, just play the meme, ok?

This week we will answer some crazy questions brought to you by Berleen, the color white and the number 1734.

1. What kind of dryer sheets do you use?
I'm addicted to dryer sheets. I have Bounce, Snuggle and some generic brand. I use whatever I feel like smelling that day.

2. How many times a week do you eat out/order in?
About once a week on average. Either pizza or Subway or something along those lines.

3. What did you do the night of your high school graduation?
Went to my best friends' graduation party, which was a bust. She was pissed from the moment it was planned. She didn't want the party that night and she spent most of the night pissed off & crying because of it. A few of us stuck around because it was her party... I wasn't going to leave her there by herself.

4. So Octomom is rumored to have been offered a million bucks to do a porno. Would you do it for a million?
I wouldn't, but I wanna know who in God's green earth wants to see this woman in a porno anyway? She just had 8 babies in her belly - it's just can't be sexy.

5. If your child was born with an extra finger or toe, would you have it surgically removed?
It would depend where it was. If it wasn't "obvious" then maybe not. I'm not one for unnecessary anything.

6. What was the last movie you saw?
Changeling with Angelina Jolie. Holy crapola that was a good movie! I had NO IDEA of the storyline before I saw it.... I just knew it was about her kid being kidnapped and the cops trying to pass off another kid as hers. No idea it was a true story, much less about a serial killer, which is another one of my obsession.

7. I wanna buy you a dozen roses, what color should they be?
I don't want a dozen roses, I want rose bushes. Pink or white or yellow... doesn't matter. Red is overdone.

8. You are walking across the street, you are not quite half way when a speeding car comes... you have to run to get out of its way, which direction do you run?
I'd be a dumbass and run forward and probably get killed.

9. Tell us about a time when you were invited over somewhere and had the most awful time.
It was probably that graduation party... but just because it sucked watching her so miserable.

10. You open your front door and there is a box with a puppy in it... what do you do?

I pick it up and hug it and squeeze it and name him George. And then I keep him. Because the best pets are the ones who find you.

I think my goal for today is to make a new signature tag. I'm getting bored with the current one. Maybe I'll do that. I guess we'll find out tomorrow.