A Memory of Sex

A couple years ago I was giving Demon #1 the sex talk. I think she was a little disgusted at the whole concept of intercourse... maybe she was a little confused, I don't know. This is the same "brain dead" brain I am talking about - the one in my previous post, but this was before we knew of her brain dead disorder. But, of course, she wasn't a teenager quite yet when this talk was given. Anyway, I'm explaining, pretty simply to her what goes where when a woman gets pregnant. Then this happens, which really threw me for a loop;

"Does it hurt the first time you have sex?"

"Yes, it can and it usually does. But only the first time usually."

"So it hurt when you got pregnant with me?"

*insert a blank stare of a blank mom mind*

"Um... yeah it did"

What else do you say? I didn't need to go into details that I had sex before, right? Then she throws me for another loop;

"So then when you got pregnant with Krissy it didn't hurt that time, right?"

Oh good God!!! This child thought I'd only had sex twice in my life! Keep it simple, Mom, keep it simple....

"Um... nope. Didn't hurt that time"

Teenagers and Walmart!

First of all - we, as in the husband & I, have decided that once a body has been alive for 13 years the brain that is located in the head of that body either falls out or temporarily shuts down until ... well, we aren't sure how long. Possibly 21, don't know. I hope not that long. Demon #1 is brain dead. I've come to that conclusion. She walks around with a blank look on her face all the time and if you ask her something - anything - her only response is "huh?". If she was a little bit smarter I would think she was on drugs - but she's just not smart enough to figure out how to buy the stuff, much less figure out what to do with it. She'd be dumb enough to ask me how to use it.

Then there's Walmart.

The husband gets a gift card every year for Christmas from the place he works. This year we were given a $300 one to Walmart. It's always to Walmart. Every year the husband hands it over to me as a birthday/Christmas present (easy out!). This year I had it spent before we got it - I wanted a video camera. We've never had one, so I wanted one.

Did some research on Walmarts website today. Found a nice Sony one, pretty much what I wanted, for $314. Hey, I can handle that. So tonight we loaded us up in the truck and headed to Walmart to buy me that video camera.

It was $348 at the store.

What?

I told the not-so-happy-helper that online it's listed at $314. She looks at me like "so?". After a few comments, phone calls to whoever and a football type huddle between her and this other happy-helper person they inform me that they cannot sell me the camera for $314.

Ok let me get this straight. I can go home, order it online for $314... get it "shipped" to their store for FREE (free in-store pickup, you know), drive back to the store I'm already in and pick up my $314 camera, but I can't just walk in and buy one off the shelf for $314, I have to pay $348 to get it without a computer middle man?

Dumbest thing I've ever heard.

So I came home... ordered my camera and will go back on Tuesday and get my camera.

Anything to save $34.

Tune in next week for videos. I might even show you what a brain dead teenager looks like in real-time.

Sled Porn

Why I didn't think of this design before today, I don't know. Funny how the mind works.

For those of you who will find yourself staring at this thinking "huh?", don't worry - you have to be an avid snowmobiler to really appreciate this one.

Bengal Nurses Piglets Dressed In Tiger-Striped Coats

Bengal Nurses Piglets Dressed In Tiger-Striped Coats
Zoo Exchanges Animals To Amuse Visitors
BANGKOK, Thailand -- What do you get when you mingle piglets with a tiger or tiger cubs with a pig? Motherly love. At least that's what a zoo in Thailand found out after placing several piglets with a 6-year-old bengal tigress. The bengal feeds the piglets, which were dressed by zoo workers in tiger-pattern coats, and across the cage tiger cubs are fed by a sow.

Zoo officials said the animals have been interchanged with parents for the past few years. Officials said the reason for the experiment is to amuse visitors. Watch Local 6 News for more on this story.

This just made me sick. I know they aren't getting harmed, but come on... this is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Great amusement when the tiger realizes her "babies" smell just a little bit more like dinner than a cub and eat one in front of all these amused visitors. It's one thing to do to save the life of the babies...

I love zoos, I love seeing animals, but I hate them at the same time. It's sad when you stop to think about it. To sit and watch any wild animal not react at the sound of a human - they aren't wild anymore, they are a prisoner.

This story is just humiliating to the animals. Do they actually think that the pigs dressed up like tigers tricks the mom? She knows they aren't hers - it's called scent and instinct. She's doing this because she has the wildness drained out of her....

Stupid Monday

My head is all stuffed up, I'm sneezing, I'm out of cigarettes and the girls won't wake up for school. I hate Mondays.

I just had a cold about a month or so ago, why am I getting another one? Felt it coming on Friday and I was hoping it would just go away, but it won't! This sucks. I actually wanted to get a bunch of stuff done today around the house and now I just feel like I could lay in bed all day and hibernate.

I think I just might.

Yeah right. Like that will happen. Especially since I have to go out in this -6 degree cold just to get a pack of cigarettes. Good excuse to get some good flavored coffee though. And a candy bar.

Want 2 kids? Cheap!

My kids are demons from hell. They wouldn't cooperate for the family picture, they were crabby and wouldn't smile. I said we'd try again next week, but with a little cropping & some blurring I think they can just be cut out of the family this year and we'll send a pic of just me & Trucker on our Christmas cards.
I had a killer headache that felt like my head was going to explode... you think they just could have smiled. Grrrr

Winter Storm Watch

Saturday - Snow likely in the morning...then snow in the afternoon. Snow accumulation of 5 to 7 inches. Highs 20 to 25. East winds 10 to 15 mph.
Saturday Night - Snow in the evening...then snow likely after midnight. Snow accumulation of 2 to 3 inches. Lows around 15. Northeast winds 10 to 15 mph shifting to the north 5 to 15 mph after midnight.

10 inches possible!!!! I might get that family picture afterall!!!! And the highs stay in the 20's next week, so the snow should stick around. If it even falls, that is.

No. We are being optimistic. Snow will fall.

What I'm working on today

Found another picture of Trucker on the sled that I could use for graphics. I can't wait for snow so I can get some new graphics!!!

Waiting for snow

We have until Saturday for it to snow. I want a family picture this year and we would like it on a sled, but if it doesn't snow I'm taking it without the "other family member". We'll go to a studio.

So, pray for snow... so I can have the picture I want.

Until then... here's some shots from years past.

Taryn waiting patiently for her chance... my little daredevil.


















Demons on the sled....


















Me on the Interceptor. Ha ha... I look so thrilled!!!!



















The husband showing off....


















Can't wait to take more pics this year...

Kitty's Beauty Tip #1

Totally random topic here.

Hair.

It's a well known fact around my family & friends that I don't brush or comb my hair. It's something I tell people who complain of frizzy hair or just thick hair (like yours truly) that they hate to brush everyday. I was one of those people many moons ago. You had to brush your hair, right? I mean, if you don't - you get rats nests in it or something, so I brushed my mop of hair everyday. I tried every kind of brush, comb and pick. I always had a big poof of frizz is all I got out of it.

Until one day in high school. Choir actually. There was a girl with thick long beautiful hair, hair I was so jealous of I could spit in it. I asked her what she used to brush her hair with, figuring it was some ancient secret like the rib bones of a rabbit or something.

"I don't"

Huh? What do you mean you don't brush your hair? You have to! She told me that the only thing that goes through her hair were her fingers. So I tried it.

Almost 20 years later I could probably count how many times I've brushed my hair on two hands. This doesn't count the phases of "mom let me do your hair" when the girls were younger. Ok, ok... they still go through that stage now. Even my hair dresser knows I don't brush my hair, so she lets me "brush it" instead.

So here is my tip for those of you who have long, thick and/or curly hair. Stop brushing it! Use your fingers as the comb... condition it normally, run your fingers through your hair and get the conditioner all through it, then when you towel dry your hair, don't rub the towel all over your head like you are trying to give your scalp rug burn - squish the ends in the towel, or better yet.. wrap it up in a towel for 5-10 minutes. Thats what towels are for - to capture water. Run your fingers through again. Get the knots out (after awhile you won't get knots anymore, I promise, especially if you stop the rug burn routine!). When you are blow drying... same thing - fingers.

Put something in your hair when it's wet. A touch of gel, moouse... whatever. Something. I prefer a light gel. I don't have any right now so I can't think of the brand, but it comes out in almost a liquid. Great stuff.

I'm trying to teach Demon #1 this trick, but she seems to think she has to brush her hair. Fine. She's the one who has to deal with the rats nests, not me.

Try it for a week... I'm serious. Then tell me how it went.

Oh... one more thing; quit shampooing your hair everyday. Always condition it, but don't shampoo it. I shampoo my hair twice a week, maybe 3 times if I'm lucky. But it gets conditioned every day. Unless you are using tons of hair spray, there is no need to shampoo it everyday. Shampoo dries your hair out. Water will clean it just fine.

And my shampoo of choice? Dove. It's a wonderful shampoo. Conditioner? Aussie (in the purple bottle). Great stuff. Plus, according to my niece Jessica, it smells like candy.

It does too.

Are You There?

Yikes... it's been quite a few days since I've posted, huh? Damn holiday week anyway.

I think I'm putting my tree up today. Wish me luck. I hate putting the tree up. The demons fight over who gets to do what.

I hate Christmas.

Bah Humbug.

Finally Updated

Yeah, yeah, so I'm slow. By the time I get done making designs, I have no ambition to actually add them to the new arrivals section. I finally did SledderWear's new arrivals this morning - only to find out that it's been so long that I ran out of room!

But anyhow... here it is. (Click that)

Maybe I'll do InsanityWear tomorrow. Wait, tomorrow's Thanksgiving. Never mind. I have to make two different salads in the morning - no time for work!

Here's a sneek peek of what I did today.