Anyone keeping score?

It's been 216 days since I've quit smoking!

Happy July

Most importantly, Happy Independence Day!

It's sort of ironic that I thought of this this morning, Independence Day, but I was curious on how long it had been since I quit smoking. I'm coming up on the 6th month mark. Wow. 6 months without smoking. I really can't believe I did it.

I still stand by Chantix for helping me through it. I know I wouldn't have quit if I hadn't taken it.

Nicotine & Stuff

Logged into the Chantix Support website today because I hadn't in awhile and I was greeted with the words:

"It's been 129 days since you quit."

and...

"Not buying cigarettes may have saved you: $774"

Now, remember... the husband quit, too, so we can double that. And thats on the low end.

Upgrades, dog toys & sick kids

Yesterday was a nice, different kind of day.... sort of. It started out by realizing it had been 100 days of not smoking, then realizing Demon #2 was still sick, then being stuck between a rock & a hard place by my brother... and that was all before 8:30am!

The rock & a hard place is somewhere where I knew we'd end up eventually. See, my brother is a computer-nerd of sorts (either that or he fakes it really well). He helps me keep InsanityCafe forums running. Without him there just wouldn't be a forums to go to.

We've been behind on updating my site and the husbands site (which, of course, Patrick helps with, too) so yesterday was the day. If it wasn't yesterday, we probably would have been looking at a November or December date. Trying to get his schedules and mine (which stupidly is not very busy) to connect has been pretty much impossible.

So a comment was mention - I looked over at the husband and within 20 minutes we were out the door. It's over an hour drive to Patrick's, so we knew it would be almost an all day thing.

But it was so fun! I have the most wonderful, comical, sarcastic, humorous, caring brother a person could have. Seriously. You just can't be in a bad mood around him - it's just not possible. The only thing that sucked is that we had to leave.

Came home to a kid that was still sick (she wasn't dying... she's just sick. She was going to sit in front of the computer/tv all day long anyway, so whats the difference if I'm there to watch her or not?), 2 hyper dogs that had obviously been neglected attention-wise all day and a sink full of dirty dishes.

Speaking of dogs... Patrick has a Goldendoodle named Coco. Cutest big lump of fur you'll ever meet. Coco has this squeaky toy... all I know is that it looks like a dinosaur and it's made in China. If you try to feel the inside, it's not hallow, it's got some sort of material in it. It look indestructible and Patrick said they've had it since Coco was a pup (almost a year).... so it survived her puppy-chewing stage. He has absolutely no idea what this thing is called or what brand it is. We stopped at Petco and couldn't find anything close to it. Does anyone have any clue what this could be? We want to buy like 15 of them for Saki, because Lord knows she chews through everything and this is the toy for her!

Send a word out to your critter-friends and help us solve the mystery!

And that, my friends, is your Monday morning ramblings. Check out the work we did at the forums... join up, come talk to us! We love new people... we hand out cookies.

Oh... demon #2 is home sick today still.

Drum Roll, Please....

Today is a very special day. A milestone. It's pretty amazing that we are now talking triple-digit numbers now. Today is, officially, 100 (one-hundred)... not 99, not almost 100, not 90something... but 100 days since the husband & I quit smoking!
Neither one of us finished the Chantix prescription, but please... don't take that as that you shouldn't if you are on it. My parents have both quit smoking a few weeks before us and they both are still on the prescription.
I still find this drug amazing... and coming from me, thats a huge thing. I hate any kind of medicine. When the husband called me that one morning back in December and told me that cigarette prices were going up in Wisconsin....

.... Cig prices went up in Minnesota a long time ago. But being married to a truck driver, we get the luxury of price shopping between states. He goes to Wisconsin everyday and cigarettes were $10/carton cheaper there after the MN prices went up, so... he bought our vice every week.....

..... so he called me and said they were going up and that we should quit. There was this rush of panic that went through me. He'd said it before and somehow I always talked him out of it... but this time? I didn't think I could talk him out of it, maybe I didn't want to, I don't know, but I didn't want to quit. As stupid as that sounds, I didn't. I think only a smoker can understand that thinking. I mean, why would you want to continue bringing smoke into your lungs, right? Dumb, yep.

So I agreed. Yes, it's time. I called the doc and got the meds and we started them... if you've followed along in the beginning on this blog you read how easy it really was. This drug is amazing. It made me, someone who had no interest in quitting smoking, not want a cigarette.

Ok, sure, yeah... I guess part of me had to want to quit or I still wouldn't be a non-smoker.

Do I still want one? Yep. Everyday. Not all the time, but at least once everyday. At the strangest times, too, like - as I type this, because I'm talking about it. Makes me think of it, so I want one.

And, yes, I gained weight. 20lbs to be exact. I don't care about that, either. I'm still not fat, just a little chubby. I can live with that.

So today is 100 days without a cigarette. I think I'll celebrate with a hot fudge sundae.

You Still Smoking Or What?

Day #84....

... just in case anyone was wondering.

*pats self on back*

Day #62 - The Million Dollar Question

Today is Day #62 of being smoke-free.

*pats self on back*

I stopped taking the Chantix. I was sick of the sour stomach. I'll take one every now & then if I'm having a craving really bad, but I don't think it's the pill changing the craving. I think it just puts my mind at ease.

So I've been asked a few times.... have you gained weight since you quit smoking?

Well... for those of you who know me in real life and haven't seen me in awhile.... sit down.

Seriously, sit down. You'll want to.

Let me first tell a story to those of you who don't know me. I was 140lbs when I graduated high school. All muscle weight. My parents bought me a trampoline when I was 10 or something... and being a bored teenager with friends who didn't have a trampoline - it was our "hang out spot". Anyway... when I got pregnant at 21 with Demon #1 I threw away all my size 9 jeans. I mean, who is ever going to get back into those after a baby, right?

I'm glad I threw them away because I was right... they didn't fit me anymore. 3 months after Taryn was born, they were too big.

Yes, too big.

I had gone down to a size 5.

I got preggo with Demon #2 and threw away my size 5 jeans. I mean, who is ever going to get back into those after a 2nd baby, right? Dumbass I am. Within 2 months I was back to a size 5 and I was 120 lbs. I lost some more weight after that - I'd just forget to eat.

Yes, you can forget to eat. With 2 munchkins running around.. it happens. I'd sit back and think "when was the last time I ate?.... Tuesday? Monday?". I think my lowest wieght was 105 if I remember right.

Well, one night I was sitting on the edge of the bed in just a bra and the husband stuck his fingers between my ribs.

I knew it was time to do something. I wanted to get back to around 130-140 lbs. Demon #2 is almost 12 years old - it took me this long to get back to 140lbs. I don't know what it's like to try to lose weight, I've never had to worry about what I ate before. But I do know that it's a bitch to try to gain weight.

Yes, I'm back to 140lb. I passed 140lbs.

Two months ago I quit smoking. I was 135lbs. I am now 149lbs.

I guess smoking was my diet.

Now I have to lose 10lbs.

Come on, brat-dogs, we're going for a walk!

Hockey, school stuff, time change and smoking

Hockey : Insanity Wear : CafePress.com


Thats what I'm working on today. Not sure whats up with the hockey, though. We are not hockey fans... don't know anyone who is, actually. My sister just made a comment to me this past weekend that I have a whole bunch of sports stuff, but no hockey. Ok, well now I do.

Had to run a forgotten project to school bright and early this morning for Demon #1.

Speaking of bright & early. How was it getting out of bed for you today? Good God... I wanted to hurt something this morning. Usually I'm a morning person, but my body gets on such a schedule that this time change crap throws it into a tailspin and kicks it. And the demons - I should have said a short prayer before I attempted to wake them up this morning.

I know I haven't updated my smoking process... or no smoking process, that is. I'm on Day #52. It hasn't gotten any easier and I'm always wanting a cigarette, but I haven't had one.

Still have that opened pack in my purse though!

Bad comments and bad parenting

If you have ever left a negative comment here you will notice it doesn't stay long. I hate negativity. With anyone.

Someone decided to tell me I was a bad parent because I don't post about my kids much. My life revolves around my animals and my quitting smoking and not enough on my children.

This is a blog that any random person can read and it's about me and I have control over what I want to put into it. If I want to talk about puppies and cigarettes I will.

If you look at my blog labels you will see what I talk about most often.

I talk about what I feel like talking about at any given time. I really fricken love chocolate, but do I clutter this blog with it? No. I love to read, do you see book recommendations all over? No. I love sex with my husband, do you see details about it? No.

And one thing - if you don't like what someone is writing about... stop reading it.

Stupid comments made by strangers explain why I don't dive into the very personal life of myself or my children on a public blog.

Not much going on

It's day 36. Yea me!

Husband is on his way to buy a motor for the puppy-trade-off sled, then after that we are going to his dads to help him with some stuff. Have to bring the puppy along because we can't leave her in the crate all day and I just don't trust the eat & chew-everything-in-sight dog alone in the garage that long either. She'd probably eat one of the sleds.

I guess I shouldn't say there isn't much going on - there's actually quite a bit. It involves Demon #2 but honestly I really don't want to get into it right now.

Don't you hate that when people do that? Give you a tease of whats going on? I can't stand it.

******taken out just because*******

Anyway. Just wanted to throw a little update in here. We've got friends from Pennsylvania coming to see us tomorrow... it's one of those "internet things" that old people freak out about. Ok Dad, yep, you're right, I haven't actually met Jill, but I've known her for 9 years. Cue the eye roll from Dad. If you've never met her, how can you know her?
It's funny how the older generations can't grasp the concept of internet friendships. My dad just gets pissed off, too, when you talk about people online. I mean really pissed off because the though is so alien to him. My friend Kimber is one of my best friends and I've never laid eyes on her... but we've talked each other through panic attacks, cried on the phone to each other, laughed, screamed... you name it, we've done it. But nope, I've never seen her in person. It's something that is strange when you try to explain it to someone who still thinks a mouse is a rodent.

He still can't figure out how I made over $7,000 in one month selling t-shirts online. That one went right over his head and I didn't even attempt to explain it.

Jill and her hubby, Sean, are coming to Minnesota for a visit to Mayo in Rochester. Not a planned visit, but it's a good excuse for us to finally meet. The husband has met Sean before, years ago, on a trip out east... but Jill & I? It's a meeting that we've waited a long time for.

Happy weekend everyone....

Ring-a-ding-dong-dog

Well, this weekend was bell-weekend.

So I get a bell and tie it up near the door (it's not ON the door, so it doesn't ring when the door opens/closes or is accidentally hit by passerby humans or critters). Every time I let the critters out I'd either ring the bell myself or put their noses (or in Chico's case, his paw - he's supposed to jump for it) up to it. I started this around .... um.... noon? Now, these dogs go out a lot. I think half the time Saki just wants to play. She loves snow. Anyway, by 4 or 5 I'd stand by the bell and say "Saki, you need to go outside and go potty?"... she'd nudge the bell with her nose. HOURS! She doesn't ring it before she comes & tells me she needs to go out, but hey.. I'm impressed either way.

Except every now & then she'll ring it on her way in the house...

The jury is still out on the intelligence of Saki. Gimme 1/2 hour with her and I can teach her a trick. A couple days, she's a pro at it. At 8:00pm she's barking at me... nope, doesn't need to go potty... she wants to go to bed. So I have to walk her into my room so she can walk herself in her kennel & I can shut the door on her.

But try to teach the dog to poop outside and she's as stupid as a bucket of rocks.

Potty? 99% down. The 1% is nobody paying attention to her or she's just gotta go!

But poop? I don't get it. She will HOLD it to go in the house and do it. I'm not making this up. She won't potty in the garage, but she'll poop in there. I've taken her "accidents" and thrown them outside so she can smell it and think "hmm this is where this stuff goes"... but nooooooo. She can make a grown man proud of her farts, so when I smell them I take her outside - if she poops I make a huge deal about it... I call the neighbors, plan a party, the whole works. But next time? She'll poop in the house.

So she's learning tricks... sit, down, stay, crawl, sit up, fetch, drop it (next it's putting her toys away - seriously, I'm going to teach this dog to clean up after herself.).... she's doing the potty thing pretty good, she's ringing a friggin' bell on her way outside, knows her bedtime and knows how it's done, but she can't figure out the concept of poppin' outside?

So then I took her out this morning, like I usually do. Let her back in and went to fill up my coffee cup. I glance over into the living room and she's in the poop stance! NOOOO SAKI NOOOOO!!! She ran from me, but I just said "lets go outside" like it was normal... I did see she she pooped a little out there, so I let her come in.

I was upstairs on the computer for about 10-15 minutes and was reading forums when.... heard the bell ring..... ran downstairs and Saki wanted to go out! This is the FIRST time she's done it on her own like this!

It gets better.....

She went outside and POOPED!!!!!!!!

.... so I guess she wasn't done poopin' afterall.

Lets hope this isn't a fluke and she keeps this up.

Now if I could just get her to stop chasing her tail all the time.

(Psst.... it's day #31 today!!!!)

28 days, being alone and a lot of money

Day #28 today and $168 saved. Remember, thats a low number though... I put down $4/pack on the website, but we really pay close to $5. And double that for the husbands quitting. I'm pretty much down to 1 pill a day, too, but not by choice. I just keep forgetting to take the other fricken pill.

Yesterday was Valentine's Day. My husband left me. Ok, ok, not really... well, yes he did. He left me at 5am for snow covered snowmobile trails and a bunch of guys who all they do is sit around and talk BS and snowmobiles all day. It sorta rather sucked without him yesterday...

I'm not a huge fan of Valentine's Day - or any commercialized holiday really. Yeah ok, I go overboard on Christmas, but the rest? Bah humbug. A few years back... probably 8 or 9 years ago the husband walked in the door the afternoon of Valentine's Day with a huge vase filled with one dozen roses and a balloon that said "I love you" attached to it. I was in shock! MY husband did this? Talk about falling in love all over again!

In our house we have one checkbook and it stays with me. He hates writing checks and when he became a truck driver I was forced to be responsible for the bills, so it's just kinda turned into me handling it. Which works for us... and hey! no fighting about money! It's great. #1 reason for divorce in America is financial fighting - won't happen here! Anyway, I have the checkbook, but he has one of those handy dandy plastic cards that works as a check, so when he uses it he has to give me the reciept so I can deduct it out of the checkbook. He used the check-card for the roses, so he handed me the reciept. I took one look at it and said; "If you EVER buy me roses on Valentine's Day again, I'm leaving you".

And I mean it. Some guys will say women don't mean it when they say it, but I do. $85.00 for a dozen roses, a vase and a stupid balloon. That should be illegal. $85.00!! If he would have waited a week they would have been $40. It's stupid and as far as I'm concerned - not very original. If most men think women don't mean it... think about this. Women expect it. Valentine's and roses go together. We don't think men can think past what they know... it's an easy-out. Throw money out, bring home roses. Done.

Let me put it this way - I have all 3 notes that my husband has ever written me. I cherish them like I cherish my children. How many of those 12 roses do I have? None. Figure it out.

Anyway. How about a picture of my puppies just to lighten the mood?

Today we are off to the orthodontist and then the dentist. Demon #1 has braces and she doesn't have enough room in her mouth for all the teeth she has, so today the ortho is going to remove her brackets so the dentist can pull 2 of her teeth... then Monday we go back and have 2 more pulled. She's going to be a hurting unit after all this is said and done!

Speaking of money... do we really want to go here when talking about braces? Ugh. And, of course, our dental insurance is good, but it ain't that good! $4600 for braces... that should be illegal too! And I know that Taryn is going to remember that amount until the day she dies because she is always reminded of the cost. Now granted, she might have ended up with braces anyway, but a lot of it is her own fault. She had no idea what the outcome would be, but when she was little and her baby teeth were loosening up, she wouldn't tell us. She didn't want us to pull them out. So by the time we realized they were loose, they were hanging by a thread and the adult tooth had already come in... and not in the right place. She did this time and time again and it drove us nuts. Snaggletooth we called her, because... she was!

So I'm long winded today, ain't I? If you are still reading... whats wrong with you? I'm not that exciting! LOL

Anyway... have a great day and remember to smile at a stranger for no reason. They'll smile back - I promise!

What day is it? Are you curious?

It's Day #26....

..... and thats all I really have to say right now!

Day #21...... still not smoking!

Although I have to say that I wish I was. I miss it. How stupid is that? Not enough to make me light one up, even though there is a pack in my purse (the one that was in the truck from the snowmobile show). I haven't had a cigarette since those 2 drags a couple weeks ago... but part of me really misses smoking. That is dumb if you ask me. And I'm the one telling it! LOL

I did find out from a friend of mine that she was on Chantix about a year ago. She said it's great while you are on it, but once you go off it's like you quit all over again. She started smoking again and so did the people she knows that quit on it.. they started back up after the meds were gone. Great. I knew this was too easy.

Anyway.... this is what the Chantix website told me today. I did not know this.

Why do cigarettes contain menthol?

Because many people like the taste — but that's not the only reason.

Menthol has an anesthetic, or numbing, effect. It quiets the nerves in your throat that react to irritation. (Which is why it is used in cough drops.)

Eugenol, a liquid found in clove oil, is also added to cigarettes. It has a numbing effect too. It deadens the mucous membranes to lessen irritation.

Tobacco companies add menthol and eugenol to cigarettes to prevent coughing. This might sound like a good thing, but it’s not. Coughing is your body’s natural reaction to smoke. It also helps clear out your airways.

So if you've started coughing more since you stopped smoking, that's okay. It means that your throat isn’t numb anymore.

Now that your throat and tongue aren't being “numbed” by cigarette additives, have you noticed the changes to your sense of taste and smell? Someone once said that, for a smoker, eating is like watching a color movie in black and white. Isn’t it nice not to dull your senses through a “smoke screen"? Tune in tomorrow, when we’ll revisit our old friends, cravings and withdrawal.

tricky little bastards, aren't they?

Day #18 and sickly demons

Yep. Day #18. And according to the Chantix Support site I've saved $108. Thats a low number, though because I only put down $4/pack, when they are actually more. And double that because of the husband.

Wow.

Had Demon #1 home today sick. Yesterday she topped out at a 103.5 temp. I think she'll be home tomorrow, too, again. And 10:30 this morning school called. Went and brought Demon #2 home.

I hate sick bugs. Go away bugs! Shoo fly, don't bother me!

Oh and.... Day #11!!!!

I'm on day #11 with no smoking! I bought a pack Sunday morning because Saturday both the husband & I were craving one in the worst way. It sat in my pocket for a few hours then I thought, "what the hell!" and I opened it. I lit one up, took 2 drags and threw it on the ground. It tasted like shit. Seriously. That was some nasty ass tasting crap that I tried to put in my mouth! Yuck.

The pack is still in the truck with just that one cigarette out of it.

I think I just needed to be reminded that I don't want to do that anymore.

Day #7 - Goodbye & Good Luck

Well today is day #7 of no smoking. You want to know if these pills are worth it? Yesterday we were picking up a sled at some guys house and he pulled out a pack of cigarettes. I thought, "oh God, here we go!". I hadn't been around a smoker in 6 days. He lit one up and.......

.... nothing.

Thats right. Nothing. I didn't care. I didn't want to tear it from his hand, I didn't want to bum one from him. Nothing.

Then he got into our truck. I almost puked. The smell of smoke that was coming off of him made me gag. He wasn't smoking, he just stunk to high heaven of smoke. Yuck. If I needed a reminder on why I quit.. it was sitting in the front seat of our truck.

Ok other news. We leave today for Waconia 2008. Are you going? Why not? Well, if you are... stop by and see me! I'll be the one, as I've mentioned, sitting under a big green Kawasaki banner and sitting next to a big green Kawasaki sled. I'll also be holding a big beautiful white dog ransom for awhile... if Doc lets me I should say!

Bring me a cup of coffee, too... I'll be freezing my ass off! Or a shot of blackberry brandy will do just fine, too. Nothing warms up the blood like blackberry.

Saki isn't going with. I wish she was. They say a dog should meet 100 people by the time they are 16 weeks old. This would have been perfect for her, but the hotel we have reservations at doesn't allow pets and good luck finding a room this late! So she's staying home.

Day #4 and Snowmobile Shows

Well, Day 3 is here & gone... I did it! I had more cravings yesterday than I have yet, but hopefully they are right with the mumbo jumbo about after the 3rd day it gets much better.

I bought strawberry pop tarts yesterday, so I'll be able to take my pill sooner today. I broke down and took my pill yesterday morning w/ a granola bar. I had to fight to get that down. Yuck.

I am finding that the evening pill is giving me an upset stomach - to the point that I feel like I'm going to puke. Funny thing is; my dad doesn't take the morning pill for the same reason. I'm not going to stop taking the evening one quite yet... we'll see if it passes.

Today I need to start getting my butt in gear for the Waconia Snowmobile show this weekend. I have to go to Walmart today and buy hangers (and dog food & kitty litter). We are leaving Friday morning, so I want to have everything packed & ready by Thursday night. Of course, we'll go through the same fight again - I pack light and everything between my stuff and the husbands stuff can fit into one duffel bag. I have a nice sized one... only it's pink. He has this thing with his clothes being in a pink duffel bag. Silly man.

I've got a good selection going of SledderWear merchandise. A package of stickers should be at the post office today. I ordered a few last minute ones last Friday. I have my designs printed out for the catalog and just need to print out the ones I've done this week.

Plus I need to go to the bank today - the husband is getting the puppy-trade sled on Thursday.

Oh.... and it looks like the green Kawi won't be at the show. Don't ask - it's a sore subject. Everything that could have went wrong, did. It ran for 5 minutes last night, though! Sounded great! And then...... well.... it was good while it lasted.

Day #3 is here. Still not smoking.

The weekend flew by really, but wow. This morning the cravings are pretty bad. I haven't taken my pill yet because you have to take it with food and I am dying for strawberry pop-tarts, which I will be getting at 8:00 when I drop Demon #1 off for a skiing day trip. Then I'll take my pill. I don't take it right away in the morning because I'm one of those people who can't eat right away after I wake up. The husband can get out of bed and walk to the stove and start cooking .... the thought of it makes me want to puke.

I've heard the 3rd day is the worst. So far I think they are right. If I knew there were cigarettes in this house, I'd smoke one. Even just a drag would settle me down right now....

God I hate cigarettes.

Day 1 of Not Smoking (thx to Chantix)

It's been 27 hours without a cigarette (but who's counting?). It was a rough morning, but after that it was a breeze really. After supper I craved one, but it went away pretty fast. Funny thing is, I was playing Sonic on the Xbox and all of a sudden I started craving Cheeto's! LOL So I went to the store and bought some... had a handful and remembered that I really don't like Cheeto's.

The husband isn't doing so good... all I hear is "I really want a f*@king cigarette!". I told him to go buy a pack if he wants one so bad. He questioned me on the meds.. "I thought they were supposed to make you not want one".

Well... I don't want one.

Anyway. Day #1 as a non-smoker is almost through. It will go fine the rest of the night, too, because I didn't smoke much at night to begin with. Still gotta go have my chocolate peanut butter ice cream though. Don't anyone expect me to break THAT habit!

I did think of something today, though. After you quit smoking, your taste is supposed to change because you aren't killing your tastebuds with the smoke. Ok, great. BUT WHAT IF I DON'T LIKE THE TASTE OF CHOCOLATE ANYMORE?!?!?!!!!????